Dark Paradise
by Stephaneeneenee
Summary: post "Journey's End" fic. This is my first fic ever so sorry for anything weird! Told from The Meta-Crisis Doctor's pov. Lots of angst and stuff later. Rated m for later and I love curse words :D Reviews are welcome but don't be too harsh on me!


"And you, Doctor?" She was looking directly at me. Her eyes were sad and full of misunderstanding. I couldn't take it. The fact that he just wouldn't give her the satisfaction of tell her himself irritated me to no end. At that point, I took her arm and leaned over.

"I love you." I whispered in her ear. She just grabbed my lapel and looked me dead in the face. Then, she kissed me. Rather, snogged me. I heard them walking to the T.A.R.D.I.S but I tried to stay focused on Rose.

Then Donna shut the door. Rose pulled away and ran to the fading blue box. I watched for a second to gage her reaction. She had been so strong through it all. Him giving me the T.A.R.D.I.S coral, him implying that she was staying there and that last moment when he just wouldn't tell her how he felt. My perfect pink and yellow human was now stuck right back where she had started. I watched as this all hit her. I walked up to her and took her hand. She hardly acknowledged it. This girl had saved us so many times and this is how he repays her?

At that moment a realization hit me. He was repaying her. That's why he let me say those words to her, to prove I was the same. That's why he gave me the coral, to take her back to the stars where we belonged. That's why he left, to give us a happy life without the burden of saving the Earth and the Universe day in and day out. I squeezed her hand has she fell to her knees in the sand. She was shivering and her body racked with sobs. I knelt down beside her.

"Rose." I spoke softly. She looked up at me with her face streaked with make-up and tears.  
"What could you possibly want?" Her words were like venom in my blood. I wanted to just hold her. Carry her away from this damned beach and show her I was the same man and show her that I loved her. I tried to put my arm over her shoulders and she pushed me away. Jackie came up to her other side and I stood and started walking up the beach out of the way of the rising tide. I took the coral from my pocket and turned it over in my hands. I could feel it's faint hum already so I still had Time Lord telepathy. _That's good to know_, I thought. I held the strange piece of an alien planet to my lips and kissed it and put it back into my pocket. I could faintly hear Jackie and Rose's conversation over the rough surf.

Jackie was trying to convince Rose to get up so we could find a place to stay for the night and that I really was the same man that I've always been. I wanted to scream because of the unfairness of it and the genius of the whole situation. I loved this girl for so long, through a regeneration, across dimensions, and through a meta-crisis, but she didn't see me as I was this time. It tore me to the core. I stopped walking when I couldn't hear them anymore and sighed. I couldn't do this. I still couldn't do domestic, and where in the world was I going to get what I needed for the coral? I was going to be stuck and miserable because I got the short end of the stick after all. _Run. Run far and fast_, my brain kept saying to me. Maybe that is what I needed to do.

I turned around to get one last look at the girl I loved so much before I started running. Across the distance I could tell that she was looking at me with desperation in her eyes. She knew what was about to happen. It tugged at my now singular heart. I couldn't do that either. I couldn't just leave her twice in the same day, on the same beach for a third time. I smiled a little at my thoughts of her. She would always drag me back. I burned up a sun to say goodbye to her, I almost destroyed reality to give her a life with me. How could I just leave her? I couldn't. So I started walking back to her. Almost jogging to her, really.

When I got back to her I just grabbed her and wrapped her in my arms. She was cold and wet and still crying. I let her go and lifted her chin so I could look at her face.

"Rose, I am the same. I almost ran when I was over there by myself, then I looked back and you were there watching me. I can't leave you. I'd be alone. We both know that that isn't any better than me doing domestic. Rose Tyler, I love you."

"Doctor..." Her voice was raspy from crying and shaking from the cold.

"Hush. Let's get off this beach and get dry. Then we can talk." I said to her softly. She nodded and we started walking to the road.

There was a hotel close by and Jackie got 2 rooms. She handed me a key and Rose two. One for each room so that she could decide where to sleep. I started towards the elevator and Jackie smiled at me.

"She'll be along in a mo', love. You go on ahead." Jackie said cheerfully. I nodded and continued on my way up to my room.

It was your usual hotel room with two beds and a desk and a dresser with a tellie on top and a bathroom right inside the door. I stood by the window for a moment then shivered. I was soaked. I needed a hot shower to get all the salt water off and to rid myself of the chill that had set in on me. I went into the bathroom and started the shower deciding on the most comfortable temperature. I stripped out of my blue suit and got in letting the warmth surround me. It hit me then that I no longer had a respiratory bi-pass and that my body temperature was that of a human. _Well shit. That puts a damper on things, now doesn't it. What else of this body is more human than Time Lord?_ My mind chided at me. Sighing at myself, I let the water warm my skin and went into deep thought about Rose. I had no idea how to make her see who I really was.

I heard the door of the room open and shut as I got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out into the main room. Rose was sitting on one of the beds with a bag and with wet hair and pajamas on. She was looking down at her hands.

"Hello." I said to her and her head snapped up to look at me. I smiled at her.

"This is for you. Mum got us all some dry clothes so we wouldn't get sick or have to wait around for our clothes to dry with just a towel on." She handed me the bag and stood. "Want me to take mum your other clothes so she can get them cleaned?"

"Er, yeah. Let me go get them for you." I walked back into the bathroom and emptied my pockets. All I had was the coral and some money from a distant planet and some lint. This was not going to be easy adjusting with no sonic or psychic paper. I opened the bag and took out the blue plaid flannel pajamas out and ripped the tags off. I threw them on and looked in the mirror. Somehow Jackie knew what would fit my tall slender frame. I made a mental note to thank her and tell her how brilliant she was and made my way back to the other room to take my suit and tee shirt back to Rose. When I rounded the corner I saw that she had sat back down with her legs folded up beneath her and her elbows on her knees with her head in her hands. I set my clothes on the other bed and sat beside her pulling her onto my lap.

"Rose, look at me." She looked up and was crying again. I wiped her tears off her cheeks. "Enough of that now. We're safe, dry, and we have each other. What is wrong?" As soon as it came out of my mouth I realized how brash it sounded. Ah, Donna would have given me her rudeness. Rose jumped up and grabbed my clothes off the other bed and looked at me.

"What's wrong? What isn't should really be the question. I was left on that same damn beach and with someone who claims to be the same man but I can tell is different. He would never had asked what was wrong, especially not so bluntly." She stormed out of the room. It was my turn to have my head in my hands. What a great way to start things off. She was accepting at first then the first out of character thing to come out of my mouth scares her off. How am I ever going to make her see?


End file.
